"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize