Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
