She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
