How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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