addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
