When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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