I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
