so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize