It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
