Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
