oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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