you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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