She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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