When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize