we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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