Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize