just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need a beard to bite.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
