I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
whose ass print is on the piano?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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