i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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