Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
