Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Apparently you make a good broom.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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