she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
