Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
