A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
