Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
