If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
