She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I want a musical about memes.
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