Umm I'm too high to move.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
