she woke up with a sticky ear
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
