sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize