Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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