I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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