I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Come on in and take your pants off
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