Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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