it wasn't lemon gatorade
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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