I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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