belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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