On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
