My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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