Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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