he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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