That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
