Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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