I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
