I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
