I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need water and some morals
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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