you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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