why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
