Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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