i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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