susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
