Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
