508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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