okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
