i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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