In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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