people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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