Sry I called you an 8
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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