Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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