Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
