my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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