On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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