I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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