So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize