its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
